Sunday, February 28, 2010

Maintaining control within the chaos

So far life has been pretty simple for LittleM. Mommy is with him during the week, Daddy takes over on the weekends and Mommy gets a little break, and between them his needs are all met.

As far as he's concerned, life is just peachy. He's not really aware of the economic issue that Mommy and Daddy face that mean that Mommy will have to go back to work again, and LittleM will have to go to a strange place with no Mommy, just other kids and a few grown-up telling him to do things, and eat things, and sleep places he's never slept. But there are new boys and girls, new toys, new games, and new things to learn, so I'm sure he'll adjust just fine. And he might even remember that I'm Mommy when I do get home at the end of the day.

The chaos I'm really concerned about it my body. So far I've kept the autoimmune monster at bay, and not had any overt issues. But lately the muscle weakness is creeping up, just once or twice a day. The arm that doesn't lift quite as high as it did before to get the shampoo in the shower. Or the thigh muscle that used to have no problem lifting me AND LittleM up the steps suddenly needs to rest on unfamiliar steps. I'm trying to keep an eye on how the swallowing is going, but so far, no changes there.

I had some pre-emptive bloodwork done over a week ago, they said elevated CRP, and CK, which is what we were expecting. So now I need them done again, since I've now completed the prednisone regimine to see if they're improving or going the other way. And I need to get my butt into Reston to see the Rheumatologist, unless I can get into see the new one here... I'll have to look into that. I'd rather not have to travel, but if I can't get the same level of service and a good rapport, then I'll drive.

I've got lots of things coming up, new job, new hours, new stresses, new daycare for LittleM, all sorts of new, and I have to be able to handle it. So the key will be maintaining control over that which I can control, and leaving the rest in God's hands to take care of for me.

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